


After Me

by Takianna



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:52:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takianna/pseuds/Takianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU looking into the feelings of a former padawan when his master takes another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Me

Jealousy is a terrible thing.

It eats you from the inside.

I feel it now as I watch Obi-wan help his new padawan into one of the stances of his lightsaber form. His hands adjusting the boys saber hilt so it is straight up and down, just like he showed me a million times. My life now is of a jedi knight, knighted just two weeks ago. I’ve been replaced in my master’s life, no longer the focus of his attention. He has a new padawan, someone he will mold and teach the way he taught me.

I don’t think I should feel this way because it’s the natural progression of the jedi order. I was his padawan, but now he has been assigned a new one. He will pass on his knowledge to this new padawan, just as he has passed it along to me. 

Still I’m jealous.

Once I held a place of reverence in his life. I was his padawan, his very first, and he spent most of his waking hours passing along his knowledge. I enjoyed spending time with him, even if I wouldn’t admit it then. Now I’m willing to say I learned a lot, but I miss spending time with him like we used to.

Yes, we are still close, but it has changed. The dynamic of master and padawan has passed and now we are equals. There is friendship, but I no longer feel he is my father. He has moved on to someone else, just as he is supposed to do, but I can’t stop the feelings from welling in my chest as I watch them practicing.

“Anakin why don’t you show him?” I hear Obi-wan say from across the practice area as he breaks me from my jealous thoughts. “Come here and demonstrate.”

I smile and easily shuck the robe from my shoulders, catching it with one hand and carrying it to where Obi-wan is standing with his new apprentice. The boy looks no more than 11 standard years. He looks scared, his eyes giving away what his soul truly feels. Obi-wan and I can be intimidating, our reputations proceeding us within the temple. I wouldn’t call myself a hero, but other people have said it of me and I’m sure it scares this padawan tremendously.

“Lightsaber like this,” I say, putting myself into the position easily because I've had years of practice. “You’ll get the hang of it. Try it again.”

Obi-wan smiles easily at me as I take up the very basic stance, trying to ease the boy’s fears. It is hard to be a new padawan. I’m sure everyone goes through the awkward scared stage, but it soon passes as knowledge is gained and a students becomes more sure of himself.

“See where my fingers are?” I ask and smile at him trying to make him feel comfortable with me. He seems so small. Was I really ever that small? 

He is trying and that will go far under Obi-wan's tutelage. That is one thing my former master likes, improvements. He wants to know you are always listening and always taking something away from the lesson.

“See Anakin’s shoulders?” Obi-wan says pointing at my shoulders. “They should be relaxed and not tense. Loosen yours up a little.”

Obi-wan moves behind the padawan and pushes down on his shoulders, helping to ease the tension growing there as he holds his lightsaber in outstretched arms. This is probably his first time going through the kata, but he will learn to do it in his sleep. I know my master, he will make sure this boy is prepared. He made sure I was, even when I didn’t know I needed to be.

“Now Anakin will move into the second stance,” Obi-wan says, his tone is gentle and easy. I easily shift my weight and move fluidly into the next position. The boy tries to mimic me, but gets his feet tangled and falls to the ground, his lightsaber skidding across the floor. I don’t have to see his face to know it’s red. I’m sure he is embarrassed about not being able to move just one step without falling on his face.

“I can’t do it master,” his small voice says as he brushed himself off. He hangs his head in defeat. I know this position well because I stood before Obi-wan many times in the same defeated way. It always seemed like the next lesson was just too difficult and just out of reach.

Obi-wan kneels down, he always made a point of being on my level when I was that small, and takes the boy’s chin in his hand. He lifts it and smiles at the boy.

“You will get it, Aarm,” he says gently. “This isn’t Anakin’s first time. Believe me he tripped many times.”

The young padawan looks at me and I smile reassuringly. Coming after “The Chosen One” can’t be easy. Obi-wan realizes it and I do as well. There is a lot of pressure to be right and perform well, but there shouldn’t be that kind of pressure on a child. He should be able to learn at his own pace.

“I fell a lot,” I say smiling. Obi-wan tossels the boy’s hair and smiles at me, mouthing the words thank you over the boys head.

“Thank you for practicing with me, Aarm,” I say bowing to the boy and he bows back. I put my cloak back on and clip my lightsaber to my belt. As I turn to walk away, I look back over my shoulder and see Obi-wan instructing the boy on the second stance. I smile because I know Aarm is in capable hands. Obi-wan will always be my master, but Aarm is his life after me.


End file.
